His sister was my desk partner for a number of years and we were good friends at one point until I started having my issues and she became judgmental. Her and her only sibling were very close. I cannot imagine how devastated she is.
I learned of the news this morning via Facebook. I read the many comments. This is a subject that is very close to me and I have to say a few things.
First, it is not an act of cowardice or weakness. Until you’ve been there, you have no clue.
It is an act of desperation and dispair. It is an act of frustration and feeling worthless. It is an act of feeling like you are doing your family and friends a favor or an act of getting even with them for hurting you so badly you don’t think you can recover. It can be a act caused by a mindset affected by drugs and alcohol. The pain lx betrayal, and isolation you feel is indescribable.
That being said, life does get better if you can hang on. But it is hard to hang on with the dogooders trying to run your life and force their values and opinions on you. It makes you so angry you want to try again just to get away from them. Help for the underlying issue is rarely offered. Everyone else thinks they know what is best for you. They call you crazy and selfish for not dealing with the issue in their way. They tell you that you are weak. They try to make you feel more worthless than you did before. It really takes someone who had walked down that path and survived to understand and help. It’s too bad he didn’t get real help.
I don’t know if alcohol was involved but we know it was an issue in the past. And that brings me to two points.
First, the county did him no favors by protecting him in the past. County employees with drug and alcohol problems need to be dealt with harshly. First offense rehab and sobriety or termination. Period. No favorites. No excuses.
And that brings me to a high profile 5th floor case. Like with Lynn Kirkhoffer and others: completion at the Betty Ford Center or lose your county job. If the supervisor is not dealing with this, the chairman should. You almost had a dead empMoyer on your hands. You might not be so lucky next time. Show some balls and leadership.
Back to the deputy, there had obviously been issues for a long time. There is no doubt in my mind an HRO had been screwing with him also for a long time. Somewhere in the county is a sociopath who is quite pleased with themselves.
This evil approach to HR started with Mark Uffer and Andrew Lamberto. It has gotten worse under Devereaux. It is shameful and I hope one day they pay a steep price for what they do to employees who get on their wrong side. I’ve seen it over and over.