There is one especially nice thing about Jim and I having separate blogs and that is I can write about anything I want to write about without grief from Postmus, Stout, Erwin, Derry or Burum for writing about the “personal” stuff. This is one of those “personal” posts that makes those guys cringe but I don’t have to worry about it because they will never see it as they are busy with their own blog. I’ve been inundated with questions so I’m going to take a few minutes to explain all that has happened to bring about two separate blogs.
Back in October after I was laid off from work I had a bit of a meltdown. Under normal circumstances I would have taken the action with stride but 2009 was anything but a normal year for me. For the first time in a couple of decades, not having a county paycheck to rely upon was financially devastating for me. I have always had multiple sources of income including my businesses, savings earnings, rental income and second/third jobs. But 2009 was the year of financial hell and the layoff caught me off guard and unprepared. On top of that, not only did they lay me off, they also messed with my final paycheck, shorting me a lot of money. Thus the meltdown.
Some may remember when the blog disappeared back in October. Initially I took it down because I was fed up but then there were problems with Yahoo! and it ended up being down for a few days unexpectedly. It was at that point that Jim pushed me hard to accept advertising and agreed to make advertisers available to me through Jeff Burum. I want to make it clear that the ONLY reason Jeff was involved was to help someone who was very much in need at the moment. There were no strings attached as to blog content except that he wanted me to do away with the crittercollectibles.com url, stop writing about the personal stuff, and assure him the blog would not be taken down again.
Over the next few weeks my financial situation became bleaker and the advertising did not come through. For those who read the suicide note of November 25, you know that Jeff did advance me $1000 of that money a few days earlier. To back up a bit, after the blog went down in early November, the Uffer termination was orchestrated. I knew he was going to be terminated on November 17, which was the hardest secret in the world to keep. I was assured that once he was booted out of the County Government Center I would have my job back as I had done nothing to cause me to be laid off.
A couple of days before Uffer’s pending doom I was talking or texting with Mark Kirk. I asked him if he thought I really was going to get my job back. He told me it would be likely once Deveraux took office. I got upset because I knew that would be many weeks and I was on the verge of losing my home. Mark didn’t seem to care. From my standpoint, that indifference pretty much ended our friendship although we both continued to try for a while longer.
Then came November 25, which was my birthday. It was a horrible day that started off wrong with a misunderstanding between Jim and me (the first one ever) and got worse as the day went on, resulting finally in my now-infamous suicide note. The next day was just as bad. As hard as I tried to do myself in, I couldn’t do it. To make matters worse, I kept receiving texts, emails, and phone calls/messages from many of you that were making me feel extremely guilty. I was in Arizona—don’t ask me why—when I finally broke down and contacted Jim. Over a period of hours he convinced me to come back, a decision I still regret.
I believe it was Friday when I finally contacted Mark Kirk and discovered just how pissed off he was at me. In retrospect I don’t blame him for being that angry or for his reasons why. However, I was equally angry at him and all he has ever done is dismiss my reasons as being invalid.
More stuff happened that evening and before it was over I was down the hill picking up a generator from a friend. I was talking to someone both Jim and I know and he let it slip that Jim had started his own blog and gave me the address. I checked it out and became enraged—madder than I have been about anything in years. I wasn’t mad about the blog, but about the fact it was done behind my back, they copied my format and had maintained it for over a month without saying a word. Jim and Bill received an email from me that I think is safe to say neither one of them are used to receiving, especially Jim. I cannot describe just how mad I was.
Jim didn’t get my email until the wee hours of the morning and I vaguely remember a phone call from him at 2:16 a.m. that I tried to answer but fell back to sleep before I could press the button. We started texting very early in the morning and agreed to meet for lunch. We were both very hurt by the other’s actions but we both realized that we would be handing the Ramoses of the world a victory if we stayed divided. It was a difficult meeting to say the least but we worked it out. However, as a result of my suicide note, I lost all chance at the advertising from Burum, which put getting back to work as my primary focus.
A month passed and it was Christmas. I truly had the worst Christmas of my life. That night I received an email from Mark Kirk that read “Hope you had a great Christmas,” knowing full well I was living with no utilities, no job, no money and no way of going anywhere for Christmas. I spent Christmas blogging in a shopping center parking lot trying to stay warm and keep my mind off of things so I wouldn’t have another meltdown. Mark and I had met to settle our differences a week before and he promised me he would undo what Uffer had done to me and he promised to make all available county mental health resources available to me. A week later neither had been done so when I received his email, it was like rubbing salt into a very fresh wound.
By the Monday after Christmas, my truck had broken down, I had no money whatsoever, I had food but could not force myself to eat one more cold meal out of a can, I was almost out of water, and I was on my last few drops of gas for the generator. The county had denied my treatment again and my disability payments again. I did what I always do when I have a meltdown, I shut down the blog.
That, of course, was the final straw for Jim and Company and Jim’s blog went ahead full force. By New Year’s Eve, I had not eaten in four days, had one gallon of water left, my truck was still dead, I still had no job and no medical treatment and I was sure I no longer wanted to live. I wrote out another totally incoherent note and went to sleep. This was early evening. I woke up just before midnight and sent the note to ten people, which ranks at the top of the stupidest things I have ever done in my life because by that point I wasn’t the least bit suicidal, just sleepy, angry and hungry. Needless to say I got a free trip to the hospital, where I stayed for two days.
While at the hospital I was forced to meet with Dr. Pham, the rudest, craziest, most unethical, obnoxious doctor I have ever met in my life. She, of course, works for Arrowhead Regional Medical Center. I honestly thought for a moment I was hallucinating, and when I realized I wasn’t, I couldn’t believe what was happening. I’m not going to write more yet as there will be a claim filed against the county shortly over what happened. I will say I will not stop until her medical license is revoked. I was not even slightly suicidal when she came to see me, but by the end of those ten minutes, if there had been a gun, I would have blown my brains out. I’m still astounded at what happened.
Anyway, the New Year’s Eve incident was the final straw for Mark Kirk. He completely washed his hands of me, not that I didn’t deserve it to a degree. He did still try to get me back to work. However, instead of doing what he promised, he allowed Andrew Lamberto to continue with his retaliation. I cannot say what happened. I will only say I’m being forced into the job from hell, working somewhere that I want no part of. Other than sitting me in an office next to Linda Haugen, it could not be worse. Mark clearly is trying to make me suffer and he still has done nothing he promise din regards to mental health services. I was so mad at him, and others to a lesser degree, that I decided to end it all for real. And I tried. I have no clue why I am alive to write this. I should be dead.
Not dying was actually a very big wake up call for me. When I realized just how close I was to really killing myself, all because a couple of people are not men of their word, I realized I needed to get past this, write them out of my life, and get on with living. For the first time in a little over a year—when I experienced the first incident—I am not the least bit afraid that I will ever attempt suicide again. The depression isn’t completely gone, but close. The thoughts of suicide are completely gone, and I believe they are gone for good. This past year seems more like a bad dream I finally awoke from. I guess it took almost dying to realize it’s time to start living again.
And that is why I decided to keep iePolitics up. Jim is doing his own thing and I’m doing mine. I believe there is room for both blogs. iePolitics is going to get back to its roots and that already is proving to be the right decision. And I plan to live life on my terms. To hell with those who don’t like it.
p.s. I have never been allowed to thank Jeff Burum for what he did. I doubt he will ever read this, but if you do Jeff, thank you. It is my intent to pay back the $1000, but I need to get a few months of employment under my belt first.
Please do not post this comment… it is meant just for you Sharon.
You said you never got the chance to thank Jeff.. Well it was probably out of line but on December 10th when I saw him – I thanked him for helping you…
I also blew my annonomous posting as he found out my screen name and well since I have worked in one of his companies for 13 years… he was surprised to say the least.
Anyhow, I am sure I am not the only person who told him how gratefull we were for him reaching out to help you….
Thank God you are ok and back to blogging on iePolitics! Everything happens for a reason.
Will you still be covering articiles about the DA’s Office, Sheriff’s Office etc
I hope things get better for you and I am glad to see you alive and kicking. I have no animosity towards anyone and I will be happy to put links to both websites on my personal blog.
I hope you get placed in a workplace with co-workers you can get along with well and thank you!
Sharon,
By nature, it seems that one always bits the hand that feeds ya. I have seen you do this more than once. I forecast you and Jim going heads-up in the future and hope that would never happen. Mark helped you and so did, Jim, George, Neil, Gary and Jeff B. Hell, I even did without you knowing. You are surrounded by people that believe in what you are doing. Just don’t let yourself down!
The Truth? Wow. I don’t usually comment on this thing, because I’ve seen what happens if you don’t agree, but really, “the Truth”? If you asked me I would call this article “My Perception of stuff that happened to me and is, of course, totally other people’s fault.” I’m just a lowly county worker who has actually come to work for the last few years and all I know is what I’ve seen and heard, but lets see, You asked to move to a TAD office a few years back and they let you. At first, you said it was great (I heard you!) but then someone must have done something to piss you off and you went off on leave. You were gone a long time, like a year? And then I heard you were coming back, but you were going to ARMC on modified duty. ARMC? Must have been nice to have had friends in high places. OK, for the rest of us modified duty’s only for 6 months, but you were there for a year? Then we heard you were coming back to TAD and ESP late last year. Actually we were nervous, because on the one hand, there’s a lot of work and real help would be great, but on the other hand, what if WE pissed you off? Would you crucify us like everyone else? So the IT people came out, phone people, set up your desk, but you never showed. We then heard you had a new off-work order. All thats been said is that you are on leave again. Lay-off? That doesn’t make sense. They would say, she’s no longer an employee, not shes on leave. Big difference! You are probably even getting disability or workers comp for what? Complaining about everyone you have ever worked with? Well, not everyone, because some people are smart enough to avoid you. Anyway, in the end of your article you say that they are retaliating and you are being “forced into the job from hell.” How can you be forced if you are not an employee? At least you have a job offer.
Sorry, but the reality of this Blog is, except for a few solid readers who appear to be equally disgruntled and pissed off folks, most of your silent audience either sees this as sort of a County version of the STAR or National Enquirer, or they just don’t realize how much you spin your “truth”. I feel sorry for you as a person, but have you ever stopped to think that maybe you are responsible for a lot of your problems? No, that wouldn’t make for as interesting reading and if you don’t have an audience, it seems you don’t have anything.
Antibs,
Jim has helped me more than anyone and he’s the one who isn’t even employed by the county. Neil and his staff came through for me when I needed it most as did Jeff. Mark on the other hand has let me down every single time. He always said he was a friend but friends don’t cause friends the grief he has caused me. And I doubt Gary even knows who I am.
I will finish this post when I’m near a real computer.
I’d like to begin by pointing out that “County Employee” states they are “just a lowly county worker.” If that doesn’t say something about their self esteem and how they feel about their job…
So, I’m wondering if “County Employee” knows Sharon personally, and has personal knowledge of EVERY choice she’s made, and has discussed with Sharon the reasons WHY Sharon made those choices – or is “County Employee” assuming that because her circumstances as “just a lowly county worker” are apparently ideal and she enjoys spending her 40 hours per week in her position as “just a lowly county worker” that the rest of us do too?… This is a personal blog written, clearly, by Sharon on her own experiences, thoughts and feelings. She’s not hiding behind a pseudonym and she states that this is HER blog, with HER opinons – AND she lives in a country where she’s allowed to share her experiences, thoughts, feelings and opinions under protection of the right to free speech.
This does not mean, however, than anyone is coerced, forced, or made to read the blog and all these things Sharon writes. It is, again, the readers choice whether they want to read and learn what Sharon thinks and feels.
If “County Employee” doesn’t agree with this blog’s content, referring to it as the STAR or National Enquirer of San Berdardino County – then, I wonder, WHY does “County Employee” continue reading??? I am NOT a fan of either the STAR or the National Enquirer, and because my time is not unlimited and I have better things to put in my head to ponder – I choose NOT to read the STAR or the National Enquirer. It’s just a suggestion, but if “County Employee” has apparently been reading this blog for quite some time and finds it to be, in their opinion, untruthful or sensationalizing information – perhaps “County Employee” should find a different blog to read when spending his/her time online. Or, perhaps, if they are truly passionate about their stance and want the truth to be known, “County Employee” can start their own counter-blog and share their own thoughts and opinions under their own given name.
oops. San Bernardino County.
Most of us don’t buy into your “truth” Sharon. While your blog was informative and entertaining for the most part, it got ridiculous when you kept flying off the deep end. The blog lost its credibility. You can’t blame Jim for doing his own thing, or Jeff for staying clear of you. At one point you had several people bending over backwards to help you and you just pissed that away. Do you even care how you affected their holidays with your shenanigans? Stop blaming others and get some real help so you don’t self destruct. Sharon, most of us have jobs that are less than ideal. Be thankful you have a job; not everyone is that fortunate. I will be reading the other blog from now on for the credible information, but in all honesty I’ll probably check in occasionally for the ranting and raving. Although not terribly credible, it is somewhat entertaining! Take care.
I will answer everyone at once. First, to the person who asked that their comment not be posted, I’m sorry but the blog is no longer on moderate. Moderation is something Uffer almost forced on me. He’s gone and so isn’t the moderation.
Now for the critics. I’m not sure why I’m wasting the keystrokes, but I never asked to go to the Del Rosa office. That was forced on me. And in comparison to where I came from it was a decent office. But it had one big problem and that was Linda Apodoca. I’m not the one who threatened to kill a subordinate, she is. I’m not the one who called employees into her office to discuss Michael de la Rosa’s and Nancy Swanson’s sex life, she is. I’m not the one that discussed subordinates’ health issues and medications with other subordinates, she is. I’m not the one who manhandled subordinates, she is. I’m not the one whose goal was to have every subordinate on a WPIP, she is. I’m not the one that demanded a list of medications each subordinate was taking, she is. I’m not the one who openly admitted I hated having men and veterans in the unit, she is. I could go on and on. I am also not the last district manager or one of the last three supervisors who retired way earlier than planned because the management of the office/department is so piss poor. Ask any one of them and they will be happy to share the horror stories of TAD and the Del Rosa office.
As to my return to TAD, I have no idea why anyone went to that trouble. HR knew my doctor would not allow me to return. And Mark Uffer promised me I would never have to return. My position was supposed to be transferred to ARMC, where I was doing an equivalent job, but that all changed when Jim became my co-administrator. Mark went back on his word and then wondered why I was upset. For the record that promise was made in front of Mark DeBoer, Mark Kirk and Dean Arabatzis.
As to the new job, there is no reason for me to want to go. Since we’re in the process of filing a claim against the county I’m not going into details, but the bottom line to the new job is that it involves a 3.5 hour commute each day, is an extreme hardship on me for several reasons, and will result in less disposable income than if the county just fired me and I collected unemployment. I’m not sure why I should be happy about a job I don’t want, working with people I don’t like, doing work that is tedious and boring, taking an additional 12.5 hours away from each day and lowering my standard of living. Unemployment has more advantages.
The county knows I offered to take a voluntary demotion back to a position I used to hold and there are vacancies that have been approved for hiring that will not cause all the grief this job will cause me. They will have no part of it.
As to Mark, Jim and the others, I’ve said right along that I appreciate all that Jim has done for me. But remember, in return he got a bully pulpit to taunt and destroy his enemies. Yes, he could have started his own blog from scratch, but it takes years to build a readership. He needed that readership yesterday to accomplish what he needed to accomplish.
Working with Jim on the blog has been a lot of fun but it came with a huge personal price for me. It cost me my job. No I wasn’t fired but it was constructive termination, which has the same end result.
The issue I have with Kirk is that he always claimed to be a friend. He and I both took a lot of crap because I didn’t allow my blogpen to attack him or Gary, even when it was deserved. I made sure positive things were posted about both. He’s the only person who received that treatment.
I always had a lot of respect for Kirk for reasons I never could explain and I overlooked it every time he did me wrong. There was everything to uninviting me to his fundraiser because Bob Blough would not donate to his campaign if I was there to promising me a meeting with Uffer only to arrive and find out I had been set up. There is a long list of things that Mark did to betray my trust. It always ticked off a few others because I ignored all the things Mark did to me either directly or through indifference.
Some of you don’t seem to understand that the only things I ever wanted from Kirk was friendship and for him to use his position, the single most powerful position in county government, as a tool to clean up this county and restore ethics and integrity.
I never asked Kirk for a favor that would cost him anything but a few minutes of his time. I also never asked for anything that wasn’t ethical. You have to remember that I have more experience working for electeds and county officials than most of those who do so now, including a very short stint for the chairman’s office. I know what can and can’t be done, what is ethical and what is not, and how long it takes to get things done. That’s why I know Kirk has done nothing to help me and everything to harm and hurt me.
So, yes I’m angry with Mark. Our “friendship” is over but I know there was never really a friendship to begin with. As everyone kept telling me, he was simply using me as a means to keep his name and Gary’s out of the blog. All I can say at this point is that I hope Gary has a viable opponent because I will use the blog to support that person.
All the naysayers can defect and it doesn’t matter. Today we will exceed 20,000 hits and most of our regular readers don’t even know we’re back. For all of you who want to take your marbles and run, we won’t miss you.
What, Monday you may not be coming to work at your newest office? On Friday staff was making a cubicle available for you adjacent to mine. I was wondering why so close to mine. With HR and my department complaining several times about my past posts on your blog and all the available, empty workstations in the office, why the choice of putting you so close to me. Friday afternoon I was told that I’m moving to one of the empty ones on the opposite end of the room. Of course I was wondering why make me move when you could have been seated there in place of me eliminating any need for me to move.
Friday co-workers asked me why I was moving. They have asked me that same question each of the previous four (4) times I was told to move. Where I’m moving too is back to the first cubicle that was assigned to me upon transferring to this office. The reason I was given for moving from that first cubicle was that workstation was needed, because of new employees were coming to the office. Say what, couldn’t the one that was getting my cubicle just be put at the one that I was moving too? That first move was several years ago. No one has since occupied that space. Oh, the reasons given for those other moves were all head scratches too.
Mark Kirk is one of the most evil people on the fifth floor – he is also the most selfish and lazy. He needs to stay in Chino where he won’t been seen doing nothing so much.
Erwin will be next to burn you. Mark my words. He is a snake out for whatever he can get.
Hi Sharon, as to your comment: “…but the bottom line to the new job is that it involves a 3.5 hour commute each day, is an extreme hardship on me” I suggest you go to http://www.edd.ca.gov/UIBDG/Voluntary_Quit_VQ_150.htm and read up on Voluntary Quit VQ 150 Travel: Time, Distance and Cost Factors.
Especially:
“C. Time, Distance and Cost
(1) Travel Time
Because travel time is subjective, depending upon the claimant’s situation and labor market area, there is no hard-and-fast answer for “how much time should the claimant be required to spend in traveling to reach work?”
In P-B-232, the claimant was employed as a telephone operator in Salinas, working 8 a.m. to 5 p.m. She walked to and from work. The employer had to reduce its staff and the claimant could have “bumped” into the Monterey office 24 miles away, working 1:30 p.m. to 10:00 p.m. In holding the claimant eligible, the Board stated:
. . .[S]he would have been required to spend approximately three hours per day in commuting time at what would undoubtedly have been a fairly substantial cost. In addition, the claimant would have had to make other arrangements for the care of her child. Undoubtedly, this too would have involved a considerable extra expense in view of the required additional three hours away from home and the fact that evening care would have to be provided. Considering all of these factors, it is our conclusion that the claimant had good cause for leaving her employment.
As pointed out in P-B-25:
Travel time should not be considered in a vacuum but in context with all other factors such as distance, cost of commuting, the wages paid for the work, the nature and permanence of the job, the nature and permanence of any travel difficulties, and numerous others.”
So if someone quits work due to the hardship of how much time it takes to get to work there is a possibility he/she may be eligible for Unemployment Insurance. And if she/he is initially denied UI I suggest they appeal the decision as frequently at the Hearings the ruling is they had Good Cause to quit.
It nice to see that Sharon is finally beginning to see the many benefits Erwin has received at her expense!
Ralph, it sounds like they have you playing musical workstations and dancing to the County tune of harassment and constructive discharge?
I’m sure when Sharon wakes up to the likes of Erwin like she did with Kirk, he will feel her wrath also. These are not nice or honorable men. They are snakes who use everyone for their own means and then dump them as soon as they are not needed.
Hi Sharon, more on comment above about “Voluntary Quit VQ 150 Travel: Time, Distance and Cost Factors. Today I asked someone knowledgeable about UI for a ball park figure regarding number of miles that would be excessive distance, She said (unoffically) EDD uses 50 or more miles one way. Not having your address I used the one for Lucerne Valley Unified School District office as a starting point with Yahoo driving directions. Yahoo gives 65.62 miles as the distance from Lucerne Valley USD to the office where you were transferred. It also gives the driving time as 1 hour 27 minutes.
It seems Mark’s true colors have finally shown themselves to Sharon. He is a lazy bastard who only thinks of himself.
County Employee, do you work for our corrupt Recorder, PIU, County Counsel, BOS, Tax Collector, DA or Assessor? It is just a matter of time before you are unemployed, just like your boss. At least, Sharon is honest.